There is no denying the fact that our parents have a more conservative perception towards everything as compared to us. Our parents were born in a totally different time when things were not the same as they are today. So it’s quite natural that they are having a hard time accepting things in today’s modern era which we think are just cool or not a big deal. So, usually we understand their perception and out of respect we become submissive to their thought process.
But are we doing the right thing? This viral post by Comedian Dhruv Deshpande tells us why being submissive is not the solution. Rather we should try to make them understand by giving them a reality check of today’s new societal norms. By being quiet, we are not actually showing respect to them but letting them become “socially irrelevant”.
Here is his viral Facebook post:
My mom once asked me, “Dhruv, you aren’t dating any girl… you aren’t gay right? (smiling) Right? (stops smiling) Right?”
This happened a couple of years ago. What followed was a one-hour argument, starting with “What if I was?”
After breaking through various barriers,
“But it’s not natural”
“Okay, but it can be cured”
“Okay, but I hope you aren’t”
“Okay, but what about grandchildren”
We finally got to: “Are you? It’s okay. You can tell me.”
(And also “Dhruv, you can’t find a girl because you’re fat”. I ignored that. One social issue at a time!)
Which brings me to my point: As a youngster, the biggest service you can do to society is telling YOUR parents they’re wrong. And man our parents are wrong. They’re wrong a lot.
My parents have taught me a lot. They’ve encouraged and inspired me endlessly, and surely are the coolest parents I know, but the most important thing they’ve taught me is to question authority, even theirs.
I have many close friends who regularly share liberal anti-racist, anti-sexist posts online, but have accepted that they won’t, for example, “get married outside their community”. You aren’t helping. You are the disease you so righteously claim to be trying to cure.
While preaching peace to our generation, we ignore our parents generation, where, even in the most open minded homes, phrases like, “look at her clothes” “these <insert group/religion/caste here> are all the same”, are uttered in not-so-hushed tones.
Today, the biggest propagators of the notion of rape culture, caste system, racism, islamophobia, homophobia etc are your parents generation, however latent it may be. Do not ignore it because you think you’re respecting your parents. You aren’t. You are disrespecting them by letting them become socially irrelevant.
If you trace it, squash it. Let it be an argument, a fight, a stand off, but don’t give up on your parents by silently letting them be carriers of social evils.
So, stop preaching online. Look behind your computer screens at the wrinkled little lovable bigot you’re living with. If you love them, tell them they’re wrong. They’re wrong a lot.
Let’s make the world a better place, one parent at a time.
What do you think about Dhruv’s perception in this regard? Feel free to share with us in the comment box below.